Some explanation (repost), but so helpful

Dear Friend/Family Member:

Someone you care about has thyroid disease. You may not know much about thyroid problems, but I imagine, like many of us, you’ve heard things here and there. If anything, you probably associate the thyroid with weight problems, or think it’s an excuse people use for being overweight. Or, you may already know someone else who’s taking thyroid medication — usually Synthroid — and they seem to be doing fine, so you assume thyroid disease will be similar for your friend/family member.

There’s so much more to thyroid disease, and while I can’t cover it all in this letter, I’m going to try, briefly, to give you a sense of what your loved one is facing. So can I ask that you set aside for a few moments the information you do have about thyroid disease, to open your mind and heart?

The thyroid is our master gland of metabolism and energy. Every single body function that requires oxygen and energy — basically, everything that goes on in our bodies! — requires thyroid hormone in proper amounts. That means we need the proper balance of thyroid hormone in order to feel and live well. We need thyroid hormone to think clearly and remember things, to maintain a good mood, to grow hair and nails, to have basic energy to get through the day, to see well, to digest our food, to burn calories, to be fertile, to get pregnant and have a healthy baby, to have a good sex drive, and much, much more. In some ways, you can think about thyroid hormone as the gasoline that makes the car go. No gas, and there’s no way to move forward.

Typically, a thyroid problem comes in one of several forms. Your loved one may be hyperthyroid…that means that the thyroid gland is overactive, and producing too much thyroid hormone. When the thyroid becomes overactive, you can think of it a bit like the gas pedal on the car is stuck, and the engine is flooding. If your loved one is going through hyperthyroidism, he or she may be feeling extremely anxious and nervous, with a rapidly beating heart, higher blood pressure, and even palpitations. Some people describe the sensation as like their heart is beating so hard and loud everyone around them can even see it and hear it! They may be hungry and thirsty all the time, suffering from diarrhea even, and losing weight. Others may even be wondering, wrongly, if your loved one’s rapid weight loss is due to an eating disorder or some sort of illness like cancer or AIDS. His or her eyes may be sore, sensitive, gritty and irritated, and vision can even become blurry. Sleep may be difficult or impossible, and lack of sleep combined with the body zooming along at 100 miles an hour can cause extreme exhaustion and muscle weakness. Frankly, people who are in the throes of hyperthyroidism have told me that they feel and look like someone who is strung out on drugs, or who has had 20 cups of coffee after not sleeping for a week. With heart pounding, and all body systems going full tilt, your jittery, stressed-out hyperthyroid loved one may even feel like he or she is losing it, ready to fall apart at any moment.

If your loved one is hypothyroid, they are facing different challenges. Hypothyroidism means the thyroid is underactive, and not producing enough of the energy and oxygen-delivering thyroid hormone. This is like trying to get somewhere with barely enough gas and feet that can’t reach the gas pedal. If your loved one is hypothyroid, he or she may be feeling sluggish and tired, and exhausted all the time. Think about the worst flu you’ve ever had, and how tired, and achy and exhausted you felt. Now imagine waking up every day feeling like that, but having to get up, go to work/school and take care of yourself and others feeling that way. Depression — or feeling blue — is common, as are memory problems and being fuzzy-brained — we patients call it “brain fog.” Your loved one may look in a mirror and not recognize herself (and I say herself here, because the vast majority of thyroid patients in general are women — thyroid problems do happen in men, but are seven to ten times more common in women.) Because when she looks in the mirror, she sees the outer half of her eyebrows are thin or missing, her hair is thin, dry, coarse and falling out, her face and eyelids are puffy, her face is bloated and puffy, and she may have gained weight, despite eating less and working out more than everyone else around her. With hypothyroidism, anything and everything can be slow, even digestion, which can cause constipation. For women, periods can be worse, and come more often than before. Menopause can be worse, and come earlier than for other women. And after pregnancy, hypothyroidism can worsen postpartum fatigue and depression, and make breastfeeding difficult or impossible. And then there’s that issue of weight gain. Your loved one may be following the most rigorous and healthy diet and exercise program, and yet be unable to lose weight. He or she might even be gaining weight on that program.

If your loved one has thyroid cancer, they have an entirely different challenge. The majority of thyroid cancers are considered highly treatable and survivable, so doctors and others often cavalierly refer to thyroid cancer as “the good cancer.” But the reality is, no cancer is “good,” and someone who has thyroid cancer has cancer, “the big C.” Cancer as a concept is frightening, and raises fears and concerns. Someone with thyroid cancer initially may have few, if any, symptoms. In some cases, however, they may have hypothyroid, hyperthyroid, or a combination of symptoms of a thyroid imbalance. Most thyroid cancer patients require surgery to remove the thyroid — and this can be daunting, including the idea of a several-inch incision in the neck and resulting scar. After surgery, many thyroid cancer patients will need to have followup radioactive iodine treatment to ensure that all the cancerous tissue was removed, and it can be many weeks after surgery before a thyroid cancer patient — who by that point is typically quite hypothyroid — can start thyroid medication to again get lifesaving thyroid hormone they need. And the thyroid cancer patient in your life will require lifetime of medical treatment for the resulting hypothyroidism, along with periodic — and sometimes physically challenging — follow-ups and scans to monitor for a recurrence of the cancer.
These are just a few of the conditions that can affect thyroid patients. There are autoimmune diseases — Graves’ disease and Hashimoto’s — that can be at the root of hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism. Sometimes people develop a goiter — an enlarged thyroid — or benign nodules that cause symptoms. Sometimes a temporary infection causes thyroiditis. And again, these problems can be difficult to pinpoint, misdiagnosed as everything under the sign, and even when diagnosed, poorly treated.

So what many thyroid patients have in common is living in a world that overlooks, downplays, poorly treats — and sometimes even makes fun of — their condition.

Magazine articles, books by doctors, patients brochures in doctors offices — and doctors themselves — insist simplistically that thyroid disease is “easy to diagnose, easy to treat” even though patients know that this is far from the truth. As for “easy to diagnose,” your loved one may have even struggled to get diagnosed — to get taken seriously — in the first place. Doctors regularly misdiagnose hyperthyroid patients as having an eating or anxiety disorder, and hypothyroid patients as having stress, depression, PMS, or menopause.

Worse yet are the truly unsympathetic physicians that we all too frequently encounter in thyroid care. Like the marathon runner with hypothyroidism who was in training, on a strict diet, and still gaining weight and was told by her doctor that she had “fork in mouth disease.” Or the endocrinologists who tell patients, “Well, you should be GLAD, you know, because you have the GOOD cancer!” Or the doctor who diagnosed a woman with hyperthyroidism by clapping his hands together loudly behind her head, chortling: “Oh, I can always tell you hypers, because you practically jump off the examining table when I do that!”

There are advertisements and comedians who use “thyroid problem” as the not-so-secret code to describe someone who is fat. And there’s a whole realm of scam artists out there trying to sell us cockamamie Thyro-this and Thyro-that “cures” for thyroid disease that in many cases can make things a whole lot worse — or at best, not help at all.

Even Oprah admitted she had a thyroid problem, then claimed it went away, then said she had it but it wasn’t an excuse for her weight gain, then decided not to get treatment, and continues to struggle with her health issues.

And perhaps saddest of all, there are friends and relatives who say “I don’t buy this thyroid disease thing, it’s just an excuse for not losing weight” or “Thyroid? Hah! She’s just lazy!” Or, “Why can’t he just get OVER it and get back to normal?”

Husbands criticize their wives for gaining weight. Teenagers whisper behind a friend’s back about anorexia. Coworkers complain that their colleague is “lazy.”

Once we’re diagnosed, treatment is not an easy fix for many thyroid patients. Doctors try to rush hyperthyroid patients into permanently disabling the thyroid with a radioactive treatment that will make them hypothyroid for life. Many doctors believe there is only one medication to treat hypothyroidism — a medication that does not resolve symptoms for all patients. When patients learn about other available options, doctors may stonewall, refuse additional treatments, or push antidepressants, cholesterol medications, weight loss pills and more, instead of addressing the thyroid issues. The conventional medical establishment believes that treatment for thyroid problems is one-size-fits-all. This cavalier attitude means that many thyroid patients struggle for years to live and feel well, despite being diagnosed and “treated.”

I’m here to ask you — in a world where thyroid patients are disregarded, overlooked, misdiagnosed, abused, exploited, mocked, and ignored — to be the person who truly “gets it” for the thyroid patient in your life. Be the person who understands that while thyroid disease may not be visible, it is causing your friend or loved one to suffer. Be the person who understands that even though celebrities aren’t talking about thyroid disease, and sports figures aren’t wearing bracelets to promote thyroid awareness, that this is a genuine, difficult, and life-changing diagnosis.

Be the person who opens mind and heart to the thyroid patients in your life. Be the person who listens, and learns about the struggles and challenges. Be the person who empowers the thyroid patient in your life, by helping him or her do as much as possible to improve health. Be the person to help find doctors and practitioners who do not view your friend or relative as a cookie-cutter patient on a thyroid assembly line. Be the person who helps the thyroid patient in your life to maintain balance– to help find time for rest, for exercise, for stress reduction, for self-care, for proper nutrition, for fun!

Live well,

Mary Shomon
Thyroid Patient Advocate

I kinda gave up…

This is just so frustrating sometimes.

I did have an interesting accidental experiment, though. First, I went out of town and forgot my WP-Thyroid. Then when I got back, I couldn’t find it. By this time, I was so scatterbrained and exhausted. So I pulled out my old synthetic hormone prescription that I have left over (for emergencies), and tried taking that. I’m definitely sure now that no synthetic hormone has any possibility of helping me. So that’s neat. But now that I’m back on my natural hormone, I don’t know how long it will take until I feel better. Or if I will.

The worst was accidentally going hypo. So, I still had like, negative energy, but I was so jittery and anxious and couldn’t breathe. Terrible combo, but I feel like I get that way a lot.

I’m waiting for results with a neurologist. There was some concern from my endo about my level of brain fog, and the possibility of some benign pituitary tumors. I’m pretty freakishly Zen about potentially housing tumors in brain right now. The surgery is fairly non-invasive (for brain surgery), and it would explain a lot of things. I think it would help me heal faster, if my metabolism and anxiety didn’t have the added strain of crazy high cortisol levels. Selfishly, I also like that one of the side effects is weight loss. But cmon, if I have to have brain surgery, I should at least get some kinda super-perk out of the deal.

Still fighting with my insurance company for treatment for endometriosis. Can’t wait to be able to finally get rid of the pre-existing condition exclusions on my insurance. Soon.

tl;dr I’m super puffy and don’t want to weigh, but my strength is definitely improved.

Despite losing almost 20 lbs, I never seemed to drop any inches, so I don’t know where that’s coming from or if I’m just always going to be puffy. I don’t wanna be. I wanna feel normal. I wanna run a tough mudder. I want to dance again, as much as I used to. I want to live 100%.

Jellied Abs

Circuits

Jumping jacks
Burpees

Stretch

Squat jumps
Arm circles

BOSU crunches
Side shuffle

Crawl downs

My abs are a-quivering right now, but I have so much to do to get ready for this wedding I’m going to tomorrow. Like doing my nails, gettin my hair did, all those things you feel socially obligated to do for special occasions that may involve a photog. I want to savor my weekend. And I’m proud of myself for working out this morning, because I really REALLY didn’t wanna get out of bed.

Also, somewhat related, this is one of the most true things I’ve ever seen:

Ugh with today

I tossed and turned ALL NIGHT!! And woke up every 30 minutes or so. It really seems to be worse when my trainer is coming, because then I’m dreading how yucky I’ll feel if I’m tired the next day. She said to just go to bed early and take a sleeping pill, anything to do to get caught up on my sleep.

Circuit

Crossovers
Jumping jacks

Streeeeetch

Crab walk
Crunches
Push ups

At this point, I had a real struggle getting off the ground. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PEOPLE

Squat press with bar (had to stop pressing upwards because my shoulder flexibility is so bad, and I’d already gone pretty hard with the crabwalking et al)
Curls with bar

Calories burned: 550

I never want to move again, but I’m making my mum’s spaghetti for my neighbor and his partner whose dad passed away recently. Well that is to say, I need to get my shit together and get to the store so I CAN make it (this may take some work). Also, I should finish getting the kitchen super clean before i start.

Success-ish!

I’ve lost 6 lbs since I started!

Yessss

I know it’s not that much, but I also know that I need to celebrate so that I don’t get discouraged. I guess it’s about right for the whole “lose about 2 lbs every week” thing. Also, I’ve got a whole list of celebratory gifs for the future, so I’ve always got that going for me. So I’m hoping there’s more things to celebrate soon. Now if I can get my shit together before I have to go see family friends at a wedding this weekend, that would be great.

I didn’t post my circuits yesterday, but I did them! I am just so exhausted, and I really don’t understand why.

Circuits

Jog down, jog backwards back
Jump rope

Stretch

Pushup, raise arms, one at a time
Kettlebell, squat and lift
Crawl downs

Crunches from flat, which I didn’t suck at today

Burned: 475 calories

I had to lie down on the ground once, and sit twice, from dizziness, but I made it through. Even my trainer asked what was up, because I seemed even more lethargic than usual. But Sunday, I seriously had zero appetite, and when I went to the store, I was so dizzy I was scared I was going to pass out in the aisle. Saturday wasn’t great appetite-wise either. I went to see a movie (The Grand Hotel Budapest- pretty fun!) and could only eat half my burger. So yesterday I decided maybe soup would be easier for my lack of appetite and nausea, and picked up a couple of things of it from Panera (which it turns out is apparently really unhealthy and full of MSG, which is disappointing because it’s delicious), and just had soup and rested. Skipped yoga and just rested. But then I couldn’t sleep for the life of me, just too wound up and sore. I’ll figure it out one of these days.

Thank God this week is over

Not wasting any time

Circuit

Jumping jacks
Crawl downs

Stretch

BOSU as weight, out, over head, then squat
High knee kicks on BOSU

Walking lunges
Modified railing push ups

Somewhere around 500 calories

Does anyone know of a HRM that works? Because this one sucks. I was constantly restarting and adding up the calories it HAD logged the whole workout. But I feel like I pushed through with minimal bitching despite some severe nausea and crankiness.

E-mailing my doctor today to see if I can get my bloodwork done early to see if this new medication is having any effect, and to see what other testing I should do for any potentially energy sucking deficiencies.

But for now, I’m going to flop on the shower floor like a fish. And then get around to weighing myself. 😐

This makes me cranky.

This makes me cranky.

Yeah, some people don’t understand gluten-free isn’t a way to lose weight, but that doesn’t mean that people with auto-immune disease or allergies or legitimate reasons to NOT consume gluten should just “eat your pizza in moderation and be happy.” I’d LOVE to eat pizza, but I can’t, because gluten free pizza SUCKS and gluten makes my health suck. So screw this and everyone who thinks like this, and screw Jimmy Kimmel because he seems to have only one joke: making fun of everyone and anyone.

Setbacks

So, it’s been a while. I’ve had a weird week health-wise. Decided to take some time off and enjoy the day on Sunday with my old roommates who are preparing to move to San Francisco. We went to Pecan Street Festival, which is just basically another excuse to shut down Dirty 6th Street, but this time, without the pesky open container laws. I ended up with a whole case of free Dannon Oikos, and a ride home from my friend Marc.

It was nice to get out and about and feel normal for a bit, but I paid the price in the form of a MONSTER migraine the next day. Complete with flashing zigzags, light aversion, horrific nausea, and the feeling that my eye was about to explode. Had to cancel my personal trainer, and lay in bed with my sleeping mask on my face all day.

Tuesday, went for a fairly short walk. Wednesday, woke up, everything was fine, then something got in my eye. It was horrifically painful, and my eye was bright red. Went to the doctor, cancelled the trainer AGAIN. It’s still hurting, but better.

Last night, I went for a walk. Well, tried a new app, while taking a walk. Called The Walk.

It was fairly entertaining. I wish I could find one that worked with Spotify or Audible. Or just have an app that doesn’t have long periods of silence. Like, this whole thing is supposed to be a timed storyline walk, so if the episode is 33 minutes long, why not 33 minutes of content? I just don’t understand it. I mean, I get that it’s a lot of content, but there’s gotta be a away to do it.

Today? I’ve got to get back on track. Somehow I can’t seem to sleep enough. I went to sleep at midnight, woke up a few times, and then finally got up around noon. And I’m still tired. I never once felt like getting up. Maybe this medication isn’t working either. I still cry a lot for no reason, and my joints still ache. I’m frustrated and feel like I’m never going to succeed, at weight loss, at life, at relationships. But I’m going to get up, clean the kitchen, and go to the gym. Because that’s just what I have to do.